Wednesday, February 7, 2007

They say everything happens for a reason. Tell that to the person who loses her soulmate at a young age. Tell that to the mom who's baby dies of SIDS one night while he is sleeping. Tell that to the family in the fatal car accident who loses one of their children. Tell that to the woman diagnosed with breast cancer who may not get to see her young children grow. Tell that to the mom who's child is born 10 weeks early and will have everlasting medical problems because of it. Tell that to the family who struggles every day to make ends meet financially, who's children are hungry and dirty and sick.

Everything happens for a reason. What does this mean anyway? Its just too hard to think about what those reasons are. Are we bad people, those of us who suffer? Do we deserve punishment? Are we so content that we have to be brought down a few notches by the Big Guy in order to remember what is important? I'd like to think not. So, why cant the people who are evil, who murder, rape and steal have these things happen to them. Why the good people in the world? I just don't understand it.

And yet still part of me thinks....none of the things above have happened to me. I am still thankful for that, yes. And I should be. I have two perfectly healthy children. I have a roof over my head. We struggle financially but- we make it. My family has love for each other. No one has died. I know I should be thankful for these things I do have and keep my focus there. I'm really working on this.

Last night I was thinking (again). What is the measure of a person? It would be great if it truly was what's inside. It's just that society says one thing but the reality is often something very different. We teach our children its what's on the inside that counts. Yet, when someone looks different people stare. They notice. They judge. Why?

If all things happen for a reason then why did this happen? I pray this is going to make me a stronger person. One day maybe my children will be more accepting of people who are different as a result of all of this. Or maybe one day I will be all fixed and they will look back on this with me and say wow mom, you went through so much. Perhaps this will make us all stronger, in the end. I cannot see it just yet. But hopefully one day I will.


Stacey said...

I remember when people told me that my husband's accident happened for a reason. I am still trying to come to grips with that reason. Sometimes I think the reason is something that we will never see ourselves, but in how it affects others. Maybe the woman who hit him will never drive again, making the roads safer for others? Maybe my children will learn compassion for those who live in pain? Maybe it just happened as a test of my commitment to him? I don't think I will ever find the answer. Like you though, I hope to some day.

Kayeita said...

Whenever someone says to me that everything happens for a reason, it makes me so angry that i want to spit fire at them.

There is no reason, good or bad, that what happened to my baby had to happen. none. Even if it makes me a more sensitive mother, even if it makes my daughter more tolerante and caring of those around them -- Jonas deserved to keep his brain in tact and not have his life pretty much stripped away from him.

So i understand totally where you are coming from with that. Sometimes people just need a lame ass thing to say that makes them feel better while trying to "make you feel better too", which inevitably just makes us feel even shittier about what happened.