To heck in a handbasket in 13 days

This has been a rough week. I was hospitalized last Monday for a serious infection in my new bone graft site (from my surgery a couple weeks ago). This morning just before I was released doctors said there isnt much hope for whatever graft will be left if it continues to stay infected. It seems the drainage is coming directly from the graft site and they think my body is rejecting this graft very aggressively.

I didnt even know I had an infection until Monday when I laid down to nap. I couldnt believe it when (yuck) stuff just came pouring out of my neck. I was beside myself. When I got to the hospital the doctors informed me that I was extremely sick. Now that I look back, that second week home I did have much more pain and had gone back to taking my hard core pain meds. Part of my heart feels I should have known then.

I am now on a long term antibiotic (Zosyn) three times a day in order to control the infection. I had a Groshong placed, its a central line to my heart, so I can do my own IV meds here at home and a nurse comes to help me with it. Doctors also had to re-open my throat on Tuesday to drain out the pockets of infection that were all up in my neck, and had to leave a hole open in my throat so I have to change my neck bandages every day three times a day and pack it with silver nitrate which will help the wound close naturally. Its still yucky in there and has a lot of drainage so it grosses me out. Chris is helping me with that and has been so wonderful to me, the doctors gave him a crash course in wound care Friday night and he is doing such a great job. The doctors couldnt sew my neck back up because of the chance of trapping infection inside so I will be stuck with an unattractive stretched out scar on my neck when it all heals up as well. Blah.

This has been such a hard time, I just feel numb. Its hard when you have gone through surgery to feel it was all for nothing, and to also not understand why your body is reacting the way it is. This graft was 90% my own bone, so in essence my body may be rejecting its own bone? Which is extremely unusual of course....but hey its me right.

I just wanted to update you all on what's going on. If you pray, pray that this graft is safe from the infection and I still have a chance.

Here are some recent pictures:

When I got home today (trying to stay positive), after a week of not seeing Aron, he is so happy to see me!

My Groshong, it goes to my heart:

The difference in the swelling from just the infection being drained, first picture is tonight, second is before I went into the hospital: