First day alone

Well...half day or so anyway. My mom is coming around noon. Chris had to go back to work today. Do I feel ready for this? No. Especially since we discovered yesterday that regular extra strength over the counter products are not going to control my pain at all. Do I want to ask anyone for help again? No! I'm so sick of feeling helpless! Its really starting to get to me. I had a mini breakdown last night when I went to put Aron to bed and realized he only had 1 pacifier. Ok, where are the other 5 I ask Chris? He doesnt know. I cant crawl under the bed to get them myself like I normally would and I just swear I lost it because I had to ask him to do it. Not to mention the fact that he has been taking such wonderful care of me but he isnt me, our poor apartment has been so cluttered up with junk and papers and things not where they belong (someone forgot to read my 'dont be a flat surface abuser' post it note). So whenever I can I hobble around and try to pick things up but it always ends up where I wear myself out and spend the rest of the day in pain. *Whine.

So I mentioned the doctor felt that I could go off the Vicodin and try extra strength Tylenol instead. That was probably the dumbest suggestion anyone has ever made to me and if I see him on Thursday when I go get my stitches taken out he better run or I will probably kick him square in the nuts and then while he is on the ground give him a nice hot Brazilian wax on his nether regions, remove one of his fingers with a plastic spoon and then tell him to go home and not take any painkillers. Ugh. I woke up that afternoon actually writhing in pain and crying out, it was horrible. I have been able to sleep on my hips if I carefully move onto my side, so I have been doing so to alleviate the stress on my throat from laying on my back, but I didn't realize unil then that its only ok with a lot of painkillers in your system- it felt like someone had taken a blowtorch to my hips and I couldnt stop it, my face was swollen worse and even today I am still barely able to talk again. Poor Chris just stuck a Vicodin in my mouth and laid with me until the pain started to ebb but man I dont want to experience that ever again. The Vicodin both scares me and makes me feel better. I hate having to rely on them and would really like to stop taking them but I see I am just not ready for lesser pain relief of any sort yet. I worry about addiction, and I also worry about taking care of my son while on it but I have to. So, that is fun.

Other than all this, my swelling looks the same today which is a bit disheartening. I am so ready for it to start going down. When I went to the hospital yesterday people stared and stared at me. I hate it. I understand it, because I too would wonder what happened, but it hurts to feel like a circus side show freak when you are just going to a routine appointment. I am not looking forward to Thursday either because, as much as they say it doesnt hurt, having stitches taken out of your throat does hurt a lot. And my hips look like they have a million stitches in them too so I am wondering how they are going to feel, not to mention after another morning of walking like yesterday I am already going to be in a world of hurt.

Is it just me or does this blog just get sunnier and sunnier? Blah!

Here are some pictures of my healing hips which is the only improvement appearance-wise. The right side,where most of the bruising occurred, is really improving and the bruise is getting lighter, the left side decided to bruise up more but its nowhere near as dark or painful as the other side. Oh and excuse the underwear in the second shot (yes, ma, they are my sensible white cotton unders) I just want to how how the swelling on that side has really gone down, before my side was sticking out and puffy from all the bruising.