Sunday, September 16, 2007

Losing my mind

I am really losing it over here. This is night two of no sleeping...I checked into it and it is what my friend said it was, I am experiencing episodes of sleep apnea. It is so so frightening to just STOP breathing when you are trying to drift off to sleep. I will feel myself falling asleep then wake up with this weird snort/snore sound like something is caught in my throat. Sometimes I can actually feel my throat closing off when I relax. I have tried everything, including trying to lay with my face down (try that when your head is grotesquely swollen), trying to hold my mouth open so I can breath through my mouth and not my nose, and keeping ice packs on my throat all day to bring the sweling down. I googled it and I found that it can happen after facial trauma or surgery, but I am just praying it is only temporary and related to the hugeness of my throat right now, and not something the doctors did when they cut my throat or worked in my mouth, causing my airway to be resitricted somehow. That would mean another surgery to fix, and I just will absolutely lose my mind if I have to go through another surgery right now over something like this.

It just is horrible to me that on top of everything else- being hungry because there is such a slim range of things I can eat right now, my face being incredibly swollen, my meds not working the full 6 hour stretches I have to wait to take them, the bruising, and discomfort- that I have to deal with something like this on top of it. The longest stretch I slept last night was from 3 am (after I took my vicodin, which knocked me out) until 6 am. Thats IT. I am so tired, I NEED sleep!

I have my follow up tomorrow so I am going to ask the doctor if there is anything I can do in the meantime until the swelling goes down to make sleeping easier, or, in worse case, ask him if this is a permanent thing we are going to have to deal with now. Thinking back, I know the first couple of days in the hospital sleep was no problem, but was it because I was so hopped up on tons of different medications that it was knocking me out and I was still experiencing the apnea just not realizing it? This is just so scary to me. When will it end?

1 comment:

AnnasMomma said...

I'll introduce myself, even thought you won't remember me. I have been on BBC since I found out I was pregnant in October '05... What a wild ride it's been, and I still only have the one baby! I can't even imagine what you're going through. The idea that there is no comfortable way to sit or lie or sleep, sounds horrible to me (and I'm sure to you too!?) If only I had that darn magic wand...
I was wondering though, could you get a stand alone hammock? I've seen them at Target and some camping stores on-line. I was thinking that sleeping upright a little (for the apnea) and having fewer pressure points (for the lower body pain) might help you overall. Plus the swinging is calming too. I wish you all the luck in the world and I'm out here in never-ever land, thinking healing thoughts for you. You can come visit if you want ( I'm a rabid knitter, so if you ever want to learn (it's also very calming and it's an awesome hobby for persons who spend any time at all WAITING on doctors :) Let me know :) I know, dork factor of 10.