So lately I have noticed some changes in my 2 year old and am wondering if its all related to what has been going on lately with my surgeries. For one, he always calls for daddy now...I am sure this change occurred back when I first got home and for the first 4 days just did not have much to do with him at all being in a pain reliver induced coma half the time and just generally not wanting to be touched by two year old fingers that often cause destruction unknowingly. You parents out there, I am sure you know what I mean. Its sad because it used to be that he would call for me when he needed help or something without fail. Now its like he doesnt want da-da out of his sight. Score one for dad but a big loss for mommy :(. It seems this child has forgotten who gave birth to him but its ok, I'll remember that the next time he wants a cookie.
Another change is that he is so much more sensitive to my reprimands. He has always been sensitive but now when I get frustrated (which is often, as I get tired easily for the month or so after a surgery and it takes me a while to bounce back) and use a sharp tone with him he just gives me this look like a whipped puppy and backs away. Its hard to even discipline him as it melts my heart every time he looks at me like that!
My 8 year old is often a mystery anyway but I have noticed a small change with her as well, though for the better. I didnt realize how much all of this has affected her, although I knew it was obviously because there was so much going on, but she doesnt often voice how she is feeling. She has been noticing me out and about more lately, we have been pretty social, had some friends over last weekend for a BBQ, then I had her girlfriend and her mom over for dinner last night (which was fun) and just generally been getting out more. So she has been asking me if now I will go to events at school with her, I used to send Chris because I was so uncomfortable with going, you know how kids stare but mostly because I just didnt want anyone to tease her about my face the way it looked before. One time I was at her school to get her and some kid walked up to her and said "That's your mom? What's wrong with her face?" and I heard her mumble "Nothing is wrong with it, leave her alone" and walk away but I could see it bothered her a lot to have people notice something 'different' about me. It broke my heart so I stopped going to anything at school, even just driving up to get her instead of walking to her classroom anymore. Today when I went, I went in to get her and she just seemed so much more confident and happy, I guess the way I have been feeling lately is rubbing off on her and she sees the difference too.
Anyway, my leg is healing slowly...I have found that if I let it get dry it gets incredibly sore. Last night I put a thin layer of Neosporin + Pain relief on it and oh what a difference! Even if my sweat pants rubbed on it it wasnt so bad. So I went out today and bought another tube and am going to keep it on. I think it will speed up the healing process as well, since that is what Neosporin is supposed to do anyway, right? I bought these cute shorts and cant even wear any of them because it is so darn chilly here these days so the pants are starting to chaffe. It wouldnt be so bad if it wasnt windy...so I have to keep wearing the pants and its really uncomfortable. But next week is supposed to heat up so hopefully I can wear some shorts and get some relief on my leg.
I go back to the doctor onTuesday, of course I will keep you all updated.