Sunday, April 27, 2008

Going nuts

I am so freaking hungry. I swear if it didnt sound so diva-ish I'd think I was dying of hunger- the last solid meal I had was Tuesday night at dinner. Really. I can only open my mouth like 1/2 an inch or so, can barely get in a spoon, I am sick of sipping on broth out of a mug, I try to eat ice cream but it just fills my mouth with this mucousy stuff from the milk and I am not able to brush my top teeth to get it off so I constantly have phlegm, I cannot chew anything...I feel like I am going crazy!!! If I try to open my mouth a bit wider to put some food in on a spoon that I can swallow directly my mouth starts to bleed and I get worried so I stop. I feel so weak, I mean how can I heal if I cant eat!?

The other thing is the bleeding/leaking from my leg. I cant walk around more than a few minutes before it starts in again so my trips up are limited to peeing which is about twice a day since I am barely taking anything in anyway. I feel so pent up and exhausted of sitting in one place. Worst of all, I have my 2 year old by myself tomorrow because I have no help (Chris' mom HAS to work, she already took this whole week off, and Chris has to work too) and I dont know how I am going to do it when I am still in pain and so unable to move around.

I am really getting frustrated with this whole thing. And it is absolutely killing me that I cannot clean this place. ARGGHHH!!!! Chris is trying his hardest and has been so wonderful but really the floor really needs to be vaccummed, the bathroom really needs a cleaning and I cant do it. I tried doing the dishes when Chris was out at the park with Aron and almost fainted from standing for more than 5 minutes at a time. I think this is the most incapacitated I have ever felt with any of my surgeries and I dont know when it will end.


Jill said...

praying for you girl, wish I was closer to help you out. I hope that leg starts healing QUICKLY

Anonymous said...

Its good to be able to read your story as i too had amelo removed (from my upper jaw) I am waiting for the next stage to have some of the bone they put in trimmed away and then implants. I wish you well. Val.

Dexy said...

Ben and I are with you and thinking of you often. We pray for you every day and I am so proud of the progress you have made. Keep the updates coming. Love!!

Anonymous said...

Oh Tina, if I lived closer I would so go and help you. I'd have your house cleaned spotless since I have huge OCD issues with cleanliness. I hope you start healing super fast and can chew into a HUGE burger soon.

Heal quick
Sylvie (your yada friend)