Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Surgery cancelled

My surgeons ended up getting called in to an emergency situation and had to be in the OR...for most of the day. So of course I ended up being rescheduled. What sucks the most is I had already been at the hospital for an hour and a half waiting for my surgery before I found out. I was starving, cranky because our childcare situation hadn't quite worked out as we'd planned today and I was there alone, in serious need of some coffee and had no immediate ride home (Chris had dropped me off and was going back home to wait until my parents could pick up the kids, then was going to come back). Even bummier is that Chris took today off work, which was supposed to be his last day at his old job, and they are going to reschedule me for the first week (hopefully) of January, which is when he starts his new job so he wont be able to go with me when I do actually get to have the surgery. Gah! Today was sucky all around, so I came home and scarfed down a huge lunch and drank about 6 big cups of coffee to make up for it all, since I was having withdrawals. :)

The only good part of this is not having to worry about being swollen or uncomfortable on Christmas Eve and day, so I can enjoy it with the family. But I did want to get this over with!

Another thing I wanted to talk about is this pain I have been having in my jaw underneath my chin that has been scaring me for the past 2 days. The pain feels like a pulled tendon or something, like someone is stretching it and it happens when I open my mouth to talk or eat and can be quite painful at times, to the point where I quickly shut my mouth if I feel it (now now, no jokes about how happy my husband must be!). It has been worrying me, as I have some scar tissue down there that does look swollen all the time and I was worried something could be going on in there.

When I mentioned it to one of the doctors today though he immediately asked me: "Do you grind your teeth?" I said yes. Actually, I have always been a grinder (hee), to the point where when I was younger the doctors even mentioned I should probably wear some kind of mouth guard when I sleep because I do it so much. Lately I have been catching myself clenching my teeth so hard to the point where when I realize it and relax my jaw its sore! I never put the two together really. I think its just all the stress I am under lately. As is life, I am not just dealing with these medical issues, there is so much more going on at the same time with life and kids and such and just dealing with it all sometimes makes me feel I am going to lose my mind. I think the jaw clenching is just a manifestation of that stress and frustration. But it is nice to know that at least it could be something that is not too worrisome causing the pain in there and puts my mind at a bit more ease.

And so I have to wait again. Such is the life of dealing with ameloblastoma. Wait wait wait- then wait some more!

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