SO I am fairly certain that where they did the vestibuloplasty on the floor of my mouth is 'keloiding' up all over the place. Remember that spot in the front where the metal was exposed? Well it looks like it is "bubbling up" (the only way I can describe it) like the soft tissue is healing all lumpy and it is starting to grow upwards instead of over the metal parts like the doctor said he thought it would. It has been more noticeable lately like much more lumped up, to the point where I was worrying that the amelo could be returning. But when I mentioned it to my doctor last time I was there he said it was just the way the tissue was healing. I remember when I got my ear cartilegde pierced and then took it out, I got a huge keloid and my doctor said some people are just more prone to keloids than others. Well I think that is what is happening here but I am still worried. I am concerned because I am not sure if my denture will fit much longer if it keep growing upwards the way it is for one. And for two, I am concered that they are going to want to operate on that area somehow before they can do the implants because of the way it is growing upwards all bumpy and huge like that. It is a lot more noticeable this past week than it was before when I was last there. I know the chances of the amelo returning are slim and its just a keloid but it never stops nagging me these days.
That lead me to think about the future, I mean I cannot rely on my doctors for reassurance for the rest of my life but the truth is every time there is one little thing I notice it puts me on edge for days at a time. I usually dont feel better about it all until I see my doctor and tell him how I am feeling and he reassures me. After these last surgeries are over how am I ever going to get on with my life and feel like I can live again without waiting to go to my next doctor appointment and talking about this damn thing and what will happen next. I refuse to let it take over my life and yet somehow I wonder how it CAN'T, and how I can go on without my doctors help and them reassuring me every week of my life? Tonight I am just feeling down about the whole thing.